The Difference 365 Days Can Make (Part II)

I was just telling a friend tonight how it hasn't totally sunk in yet that I'm the mother of a pre-schooler. She's certainly not a baby anymore (in the literal sense of the word, because let's face it, she'll always be my baby) but sometime in the last 6 months- when I basically blinked- she crossed that threshold from toddler to a precocious pre-schooler. She is starting to speak in complete sentences on a fairly regular basis now, holding conversations with me that actually make sense (!) and stepping gracefully into the role of proud big sister (most days, at least). She laughs at jokes, knows her ABC's and will sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star if you ask her to, but when we're in the car, she prefers Adele's "Rollin' In the Deep," "Hey Soul Sister" or anything by the British rock band Athlete. Her favorite colors are green and pink. I refer to her as my little social butterfly, preferring to be right in the middle of what's happening when it's happening. She loves to love, and this is probably one of my most favorite of her qualities. Last week, I left to go to the store and when I started to walk out the door, she turned around and said, "Wuv you Mommy."

And there's that heartbreak again. How could I ever love anything more? How is it that a ball of 6 lbs 15 oz could show me the capacity with which I'm able to love and yet expose the worst of my weaknesses? Come to find out, parenthood exists within these dichotomies. The reality is that it took her a relatively short journey to become my daughter- 41 weeks, to be exact. But it will take me the rest of my life to become her mother, to grow into this role. It's constantly changing and evolving, often requiring "just a little more" when I feel I have nothing left to give.

But talk about a return on the investment.

Hundreds upon hundreds of memories turn those long days of "nothing left" into moments of realizing I have more than I could have ever asked for. And to add to those memories tomorrow morning will be chocolate chip pancakes and a rousing version of "Happy Birthday" to my sleepy 2 year old- my lucky #13 baby girl. :)