Things You Shouldn't Do When You're 6 Months Pregnant

This list will probably vary greatly from one woman to the next. And by the time I reach 7 months, there will be a whole new set of things to add to it. Over the last couple of weeks, I've begun keeping a mental checklist of things that shouldn't be attempted at this stage in my pregnancy (it's becoming quite the long list indeed). I've discovered I can categorize each thing into one of three categories: 1. Shouldn't do. 2. Will never do again. 3. WTF was I thinking?


{It should go without saying that I'm going to fast-forward through the usual no-no's like smoking, drinking, litter-box cleaning, bungee jumping and closing one's self up in a freshly-fumigated room with no windows).


1. Sit down on the floor with Ella. The only way this could work now is if she had the upper body strength of my husband to peel me off of the floor when we're done playing.


2. Attempt to shave parts of myself I can no longer see. (I'm just gonna keep that one as ambiguous as possible, but you get the point). This would fall into category #3...


3. Watch any baby-related TV Show. "Bringing Home Baby" and "A Baby Story" are somewhat manageable, although I find it impossible not to cry every. single. time. when the babies are born. NICU is out of the question. I've watched it only once and nearly gave Jake a heart attack when he walked in our room to find me sobbing and hicupp-ing like a crazy loon. And let's not even talk about the "I'm Pregnant And..." show. I was lucky enough to catch the beginning of an episode featuring a woman who was pregnant and a nudist. There are just no words for how special that was and now I wish I could poke out my mind's eye.

4. Do "Downward Facing Dog" in Yoga. There are a couple of reasons for this one. a) have you actually watched someone do this pose? *Awkward* b) I'm not even sure it's physically possible for me to bend that way anymore. c). Pregnancy farts are in a class by themselves and doing a pose like this is just asking for it. d). All the blood rushes to my head and I almost pass out. So there. Four very good reasons not to stick my hips and butt up in the air above my head.

5. Wear heels two days in a row. It's always a sad, sad day in my pregnancy when I realize that I have to ration my boot or high-heel wearing to only once every other day or every two days. But it's also a sad, sad day when I can't get up from the sofa or lift my daughter out of her crib because my lower back is in knots.

6. Look at the scale. Because really, what's the point? It's not like it's going back down anytime soon. In fact, I don't plan to step onto that guilt-box until I'm 6 weeks post-partum.



There will be more to add to this list in the days to come, I'm sure. But right now, this momma needs some sleep and preggo brain is in full effect. ;-)