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May 23, 2012

Death by Chocolate





Willpower isn't one of my strong points.  This is one of the many reasons I loved being pregnant (you know, after I started to like food again).  "Hey, are you gonna eat that other bear-claw?" and "Yes, I will make that a Route 44-super-extra-jumbo milkshake, thank you."

However, this is why I don't often like to buy things at the store such as cookie dough or Double Stuf oreos.  Once they're in our fridge or pantry, it's ON.  (Oh, what I could do to a package of Double Stufs).  It sometimes takes all I have not to tear into them on my way home.  Then, heaven forbid that Ella has one of her special days.  Come nap-time, there's a 99.4% chance that I've already eaten an entire sleeve of oreos  (Yes, I sometimes eat my feelings.  But I do it with skim milk, so that has to count for something, right?)  My dad, on the other hand, is infamous for keeping a pack of M&M's on his desk and taking one solitary piece out at a time, munching it, then folding the package back up and leaving it for the rest of the day.  WHO DOES THAT?  And more importantly, why didn't I get THAT gene?

This is the first summer in nearly four years that I have a) not been pregnant and b) not been burning through an extra 500 calories a day just by sitting on the couch being a milk factory for someone.  And while I'm looking quite forward to not feeling pukey and/or not having some kind of swimsuit wardrobe malfunction brought on by my ever-growing mammaries, I'm also realizing that there has been little to no discipline in my eating habits for a looooong time.  My willpower, for all intents and purposes, is like a muscle that's lost it's tone.  It sags.  It jiggles.  It burns when I run up our steps (wait, maybe those are my glutes).

So I come up with ways around actually practicing some restraint.  Have you ever done this?  I figure if I can just outsmart myself, I'm golden.  It's nap-time, and I'm hitting that 2 p.m. brick wall:

...I need some caffeine.  Time for some coffee.


...{takes a sip} Hmm...One of those Ghirardelli dark chocolate-caramel things would be AWESOME with this cup of coffee.  {sip}  I want one.  


...Nope. {pours in more coffee creamer}.  I'll just make my coffee taste sweeter instead.


...{sip} Hmph.  Now it doesn't taste right.  I'll need to munch on something to off-set it.  Hey- I know! I'll have some vanilla wafers.  Those would be good.  They're low-fat.  {grabs box of wafers} ....I still really want that chocolate.  Nope.  I'm going to abstain.  Just eat these.  Hey look- they actually call them 'Nilla' Wafers.  My bad.  Wonder why they don't just say "Vanilla??"  {desperately trying to think of anything BUT the chocolates}  Wonder who invented 'Nilla Wafers, anyway?  Wonder if they make Chocolate Wafers.  Would they call them 'Colate' Wafers?  Maybe 'Choco' Wafers...{sip}  I really want some chocolate.


...Okay, I'll compromise.  Just eat something with small bits of chocolate, maybe.  Just enough to take the edge off.  A quaker chocolate chip granola bar.  Perfect!  {inhales the granola bar}  {Checks Facebook}.  {Checks Pinterest} {Sees a pin for dark chocolate caramel brownies}.  *sigh*.  That granola bar was actually pretty anti-climactic.  I've still got half a cup of my coffee left.  And I HAVE been eating healthily today up until, well, an hour ago.   Maybe I'll just eat a salad for dinner...{willpower officially disintegrates}.

So, I end up eating the Ghirardelli chocolate covered caramel square after all.  After all of that- all of the extra calories I consumed while trying NOT to eat it- when I would have been better off (calorie-wise, at least) just eating it right when I wanted it.  I'd still like to give myself an A for effort though.  I had good intentions, really.  (Okay, maybe an A-).


Bottom line: Maybe it is better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission after all (even if you're asking it from yourself).


So carry on, fellow chocolate lovers. ;-)

K







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