Willpower isn't one of my strong points. This is one of the many reasons I loved being pregnant (you know, after I started to like food again). "Hey, are you gonna eat that other bear-claw?" and "Yes, I will make that a Route 44-super-extra-jumbo milkshake, thank you."
However, this is why I don't often like to buy things at the store such as cookie dough or Double Stuf oreos. Once they're in our fridge or pantry, it's ON. (Oh, what I could do to a package of Double Stufs). It sometimes takes all I have not to tear into them on my way home. Then, heaven forbid that Ella has one of her special days. Come nap-time, there's a 99.4% chance that I've already eaten an entire sleeve of oreos (Yes, I sometimes eat my feelings. But I do it with skim milk, so that has to count for something, right?) My dad, on the other hand, is infamous for keeping a pack of M&M's on his desk and taking one solitary piece out at a time, munching it, then folding the package back up and leaving it for the rest of the day. WHO DOES THAT? And more importantly, why didn't I get THAT gene?
This is the first summer in nearly four years that I have a) not been pregnant and b) not been burning through an extra 500 calories a day just by sitting on the couch being a milk factory for someone. And while I'm looking quite forward to not feeling pukey and/or not having some kind of swimsuit wardrobe malfunction brought on by my ever-growing mammaries, I'm also realizing that there has been little to no discipline in my eating habits for a looooong time. My willpower, for all intents and purposes, is like a muscle that's lost it's tone. It sags. It jiggles. It burns when I run up our steps (wait, maybe those are my glutes).
So I come up with ways around actually practicing some restraint. Have you ever done this? I figure if I can just outsmart myself, I'm golden. It's nap-time, and I'm hitting that 2 p.m. brick wall:
...I need some caffeine. Time for some coffee.
...{takes a sip} Hmm...One of those Ghirardelli dark chocolate-caramel things would be AWESOME with this cup of coffee. {sip} I want one.
...Nope. {pours in more coffee creamer}. I'll just make my coffee taste sweeter instead.
...{sip} Hmph. Now it doesn't taste right. I'll need to munch on something to off-set it. Hey- I know! I'll have some vanilla wafers. Those would be good. They're low-fat. {grabs box of wafers} ....I still really want that chocolate. Nope. I'm going to abstain. Just eat these. Hey look- they actually call them 'Nilla' Wafers. My bad. Wonder why they don't just say "Vanilla??" {desperately trying to think of anything BUT the chocolates} Wonder who invented 'Nilla Wafers, anyway? Wonder if they make Chocolate Wafers. Would they call them 'Colate' Wafers? Maybe 'Choco' Wafers...{sip} I really want some chocolate.
...Okay, I'll compromise. Just eat something with small bits of chocolate, maybe. Just enough to take the edge off. A quaker chocolate chip granola bar. Perfect! {inhales the granola bar} {Checks Facebook}. {Checks Pinterest} {Sees a pin for dark chocolate caramel brownies}. *sigh*. That granola bar was actually pretty anti-climactic. I've still got half a cup of my coffee left. And I HAVE been eating healthily today up until, well, an hour ago. Maybe I'll just eat a salad for dinner...{willpower officially disintegrates}.
So, I end up eating the Ghirardelli chocolate covered caramel square after all. After all of that- all of the extra calories I consumed while trying NOT to eat it- when I would have been better off (calorie-wise, at least) just eating it right when I wanted it. I'd still like to give myself an A for effort though. I had good intentions, really. (Okay, maybe an A-).
Bottom line: Maybe it is better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission after all (even if you're asking it from yourself).
So carry on, fellow chocolate lovers. ;-)
K
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