Germs, Germs...

It's only a matter of time before your kids experience their first "throw-up bug." And I know what you're thinking- so what? It's true that for most people, this is not a major consideration when it comes to having kids, but it is for some people who struggle with emetophobia. Some emetophobic women ultimately decide that they won't ever have kids because children, as we all know, are walking petrie dishes. It obviously crossed my mind, although never in the sense that I swore off having a family. I just wondered how I would react, or if I would be able to "hold it together" for my kids' sake. I wondered if- despite my best efforts- they might still pick up on my fear and become afraid of it themselves.

Ella got it for the first time when she was 13 months old- in the summer, oddly enough. I heard her coughing in the middle of the night, went into her room to check on her, and saw that she had gotten sick. The phobic part of me wanted to run and get Jake first, but the Mommy in me took over and I was instantly overwhelmed with empathy as I scooped up my scared little girl out of her crib (at which point she proceeded to puke all over me as well). In the moment, I did what I needed to do, caught off guard by my own intestinal fortitude. Thankfully, Jake helped with the clean up while I consoled her as best as I could. I was 9 weeks pregnant with Milo at the time, so I became even more anxious at the thought that I wouldn't be able to discern "stomach bug" nausea from the "first trimester" nausea I was already battling. I remember we finally got Ella back to bed and she slept through the rest of the night. I, on the other hand, laid out on our couch and shook from my frazzled nerves, too afraid to let myself go to sleep for fear I would wake up sick too. (Neither Jake or I caught it).

This is just one of many instances over the last few years that prompted me to get a handle on the anxiety. Not just for my sake, but for the sake of my family. There are few things that I have learned to be absolute truths as a mommy, but one of them without a doubt is this: when your kids are sick, they want YOU. Not Daddy. Only Mommy will do. (Heck, to this day, I still want my mom when I'm sick). So while some moms might aspire to be able to ride rollercoasters with their kids, I want to be the mom that can sit there and hold her daughter's hair back while she barfs into a trashcan, or rub my sons back when he feels sick. The truth is, as someone who has dealt with emetophobia, I may never be totally nonchalant about vomit- ever. But I do believe that I will get "throw-up grace" on throw-up days- that ability to be strong, present, and (hopefully) cool as a cucumber when my kids need me.

So when those times happen, I will not put myself (or them) in a plastic bubble. I will not. No matter how much I might want to. {Repeats mantra}. But so help me God, I will clean and sanitize the shit (literally) out of my home when these unwanted intestinal visitors come around. Hey, it's my prerogative. And because I'm probably much more OC about it than the average person, I've collected a lot of good cleaning/sanitizing ideas and tips over the last few years and just recently came across this post to on how to get rid of the germs AND do it in an eco-friendly way. (There are some pretty good suggestions in the comment section too!)

So do all of your fellow germaphobes a favor and check it out! Good stuff! :)